Kinks in romance have always been a thing, by virtue of the fact that so many romance novels have sex in them, and sex can get kinky. But in the last few years, there's been an increase in kinky romance and, by association, kink signalling, where authors explicitly state what kinks readers can find in their books.

Kink signalling (a term I made up) usually takes the form of a brief list of any kinks that show up in an author's book, either in the blurb itself (usually after the main body of the blurb), or on one of the first few pages of the book.

And like trigger warnings, kink signals are a great to help readers decide if your book is right for them. It's not ruining the suspense or the surprise to tell readers that hey, you can expect the hero in this book to be much bigger than the heroine, with a member to match. If anything, it's a selling point!

One thing to keep in mind, though, is that, at least right now, the great Zon is getting a bit slap-happy with that erotica label, and often kink keywords can get your book miscategorized as erotica, even if what you've written is a romance. Such is the difficulty with genre nuances; yes, we as readers know that a book can absolutely be a romance and include a size kink, but robots are not nearly so well-informed.

But on to the fun stuff: the kinks! I've chosen three kinks I've seen popping up frequently in romance releases and reader forums in the last few months to focus on in this post. Below is a brief explanation of the kink, the different ways it can be incorporated into the story to advance the romance arc, and the various terms it goes by, some of which are a bit wink-wink, nudge-nudge to try and get around the Zon robots.

Lactation Romance Kink

Lactation kink is well, what it sounds like: romance characters getting sexual satisfaction from seeing one of them lactate, or feeding from them. Usually, the liquid in question is breastmilk, and while the lactation can occur because of recent pregnancy/abortion/miscarriage, it can also be the result of a health condition, or due to the lactating character training their body to lactate (more on that here).

Lactation kink can be used a few different ways in a romance novel. Obviously, it can be used to add something extra to a sex scene, showing characters connecting over a shared kink, or one discovering a kink in the process of being milk fed or doing the feeding.

But it can also form part of the book's internal conflict. Maybe the lactating character is self-conscious about what their body does, either due to past sexual partners' comments, or just society. The latter one is especially relevant in books where the lactating character isn't lactating because of recent pregnancy; they might feel like they need to hide their lactation, because it's not happening due to a socially acceptable reason.

And you can, of course, have low angst romance without much conflict, where it's just main characters enjoying feeding and being fed with no hang-ups.

And while lactation kink is usually called just that, you'll also see it referred to as milking kink, milk play, breastfeeding kink, adult breastfeeding relationship and its acronym ANR, and adult breastfeeding relationship and its acronym, ABR.

Breeding Romance Kink

Again, a kink that's what it says on the tin: getting sexual satisfaction from either the idea of, or act of, impregnating someone or being impregnated. And those are two important differences. While some characters love being bred or breeding, others just like talking and acting like they are. Sadly, there's no term for the latter. The neatest phrase is probably "breeding kink without the goal of pregnancy," and while it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, if you put it in a blurb, readers will at least know exactly what you mean.

Breeding kink, and the related kink of forced breeding (which again, is about characters getting sexual satisfaction from either the idea of, or actually being, bred by force or breeding by force), mostly show up in romance sex scenes. However, some of the books that contain this trope treat it as a true kink, in the sense that there's a negotiation of what the characters are and aren't comfortable with, what safe word they'll use, whether their "scene" will require aftercare.

Others treat the kink as a biological imperative, a primal need that the character or characters can't deny. And some just use it as a way of deepening the sexual tension and sexual gratification in a given sex scene, without discussion beforehand or any sub-plot about the need to breed.

Breeding kink, and forced breeding kink, mostly go by those two terms, but you will occasionally see forced pregnancy, and claiming kink. You'll also sometimes see breeding kink associated with cum kink, but that's a whole different thing that I'll cover in a future kinks post.

Size Difference Romance Kink

Here's where things get a little messy. Because while to some, size difference kink can just refer to a romance about characters where one is a lot bigger/smaller than the other/s, it can also refer to genitalia. Usually, if it's referring to genitalia, it's referring to a penis, or a penis-like organ, that is very, very large.

And while either type of size kink does have the potential to influence the book's internal conflict—maybe the large character, or the character with the massive member, feels ostracized because of their height or penis size, and they struggle to open up to their love interest/s at first because they're so used to being on the outside, looking in—most size kink romances use the kink to deepen sexual satisfaction and gratification in sex scenes, or to deepen the attraction between the main characters. Like "oh man, she's so tall, that's so hot" or "oh my god, it's never going to fit!" (but then it does, and the character can't believe how good it feels!).

Most size difference kink romances use the kink to affect both a character's height, and the size of their package; it's rare enough to find a romance with a very tall/big hero packing a sword that isn't oversized that readers and authors haven't come up with a term for it. If, however, you're writing a romance between characters who differ markedly in size, but have genitalia that can pretty easily fit together, you could include the phrase "size difference, but not below the belt" or some other cheeky phrase to notify readers.

So that's it, three common romance kinks explained. Use this information to read or write books you like, avoid ones you don't, and above all, remember that romance can be kinky, both in and out of the bedroom.

Until next blog post, happy reading and writing!